Optimistic

I was checked today.

Now, I know enough women and have discussed this with them at various times, to know that being checked really means nothing.

So I thought on my way in to my appointment today "it really doesn't mean anything, no big deal either way." I knew she would check me because we'd agreed that I could get my membranes stripped at this appointment.

But of course, it's so hard not to get your hopes up when you hear that you are 3 cms (a good 3 that could stretch to 4).

I'm glad to know that my contractions have at least been doing something. Now get your act together contractions so we can meet this baby!

The difference a week makes

Last week was a crazy week. I had multiple meetings scheduled each day at work that I really needed to get in before Forrest came. All week long I hoped and prayed that he would just stay cozy in there, so I could get all my stuff checked off.

This week...I'm ready for him to be here. Everything is checked off the list. My office is cleaned. And I'm walking laps waiting and waiting for something to happen. I'm so anxious to meet my boy!

And of course, now he appears as cozy as can be.

Things you do

...when you may or may not be in early labor:

--laundry so all the comfy clothes you've been wearing nightly for the last week are clean for the hospital.
--clean the kitchen so the house is nice if you have visitors.
--charge your cell phone.
--make sure there are some books loaded on your kindle.
--bookmark the "contraction master" website for easier timing
--drink lots of water
--throw a few more things in the bag you've had half-packed for a month
--do more laundry when you realize the white nursing tank didn't get washed
--watch some March Madness
--debate about taking a nap

A first

It's not a secret that I wanted a girl this time around. I am one of four girls and I just adore my sisters and wanted Heidi to be able to experience that bond. When we found out that we were having a boy there was some disappointment, I won't lie. It was expected and both Josh and I thought he was a boy, but I still had this little hope that it was a girl. 

I didn't really start getting attached to him until we had the names narrowed down. 

And then I still had thoughts with each ultrasound that maybe they would tell us we were wrong and I would get my Willa. 

Tonight, at 38 weeks, I was combing through Heidi's hair after her bath and I had this flash to what it would be like to be having another girl...and for the first time, I wasn't excited about it. I don't want a surprise at delivery. I want my Forrest. The boy that I have fallen madly in love with. 

Cannot wait to meet him. After tomorrow, that is.

Three more days

Not until my due date :) That's 15 days away.

Three is the number of days that I absolutely still need to be pregnant in order to get everything done at work that I need to get done before Forrest comes.

I'm not sure if others have this same thing happen. I literally lay in bed at night and go "please do not go into labor tonight."

With Heidi, of course, she was the first so I had no reason to believe I would go early (or on time for that matter). And it was summer, so I wasn't on any kind of schedule or time crunch. Now, I really have no reason to believe that Forrest will be early either. Other than that I have a feeling he will be. I've had more braxton hicks this time around and more powerful ones than I remember with Heidi. I feel like there's a good chance that a second baby will come early. But really, I just have this strong feeling that he's not hanging around until April to make his debut.

Ask me next week if I'm getting impatient and my answer may be different. But for now, I'm perfectly content staying pregnant. At least for the next few days.

My week of appointments

I had 3 (or 4 depending on how you look at it) appointments this week. The first was the pre-birth conference, which I already talked about.

The second was my regular 37 week appointment. It was very uneventful other than sharing that my fasting blood sugars have been high, but she said there really isn't anything to do about that because my daytime's are so low that I'd feel horrible if we tried to medicate just for the fasting ones. So who knows. Less cereal at night would probably be good, but it's the only thing that I want after 7pm. Oh, and I lost a pound and a half according to her chart. I think really the weights have just been crazy-high the last couple of times I've gone in because I haven't gained any weight in over a month on my scale at home.

The third appointment was my growth ultrasound. Supposedly to check Forrest's growth since women with gestational diabetes are at a higher risk for having large babies. But really, I've been measuring right on or a hair small all along, so I don't think any of us really thought there was going to be a ginormous baby in there. And there wasn't. He's measuring a bit small--not anything worrisome and the ultrasound tech said he'll probably chunk up a bit yet, plus we know that ultrasounds can be off by a pound or so either way. At any rate, I was happy to hear 5 pounds 14 ounces at this point and not like already 6.5 or 7 pounds and growing. Knowing that I have to push this kid out in short order here, I'm pleased as punch to think that he's going to be well-under the 8 pound mark, hopefully. And everything else looked gorgeous as well. She said she could give me 8 possible points and we earned 8, so everything was perfect.

Then I had to go upstairs to the birth center for my non-stress test. Of course, this time Forrest cooperated quickly, while I relaxed and watched the Badger game with the super-friendly nurse (who would have let me sit there all afternoon, but I really did have to go back to work).

My goal at this point is to make it at least through this coming week and then maybe I'll start feeling a bit more ready for Forrest to make his arrival. I can say that I still have my baby fever and I'm so excited to meet him and be his Mama. I just like to plan things, so if he can wait for the next week, that'd be awesome.

It's really Real

Today I had my pre-birth conference at the hospital. The nurse asked me a bajillion questions about every random thing like do I want a spiritual nurse to visit, did I get a flu shot, what's the highest degree of education my husband has, etc. etc. I filled out a bunch of forms that said I was consenting to services and to having my insurance billed and I'd had all my patient rights. I filled out the parent information on the birth certificate application. I got a tour of the Birth Center (and got to see a tiny baby snuggling out by the nurses).

I was in and out in about 25 minutes.

On the drive back to work it just became REAL. In a good way. There were so many times over the last 2.5 years that I really didn't think I would ever get to this point again. A surprise pregnancy, a devastating miscarriage, trying again and getting pregnant again right away only to miscarry again. And then trying again and watching the months tick away. I'd set the timeline that if I wasn't pregnant by fall I would be selling the baby stuff, taking down the nursery, moving on per se. And then July of 2011 rolled around and some how the planets all aligned to bring us our Forrest. And now here we are 8 months later just waiting to meet him and hold him and finish our family.

It's finally real. And we're really really lucky.

Dear Insomnia,

So, I kind of thought we had an agreement this time around. You know, since I'm trying to work right up until delivery, you'd give me a little respite. But that's cool. I'm sure it makes perfect sense to go to bed exhausted at 8:30 and wake up on the hour, every hour, until you finally get up at 1:30 to have a snack. I'm sure I'm going to be so well-rested for work tomorrow. Now no one will believe me when I say that I actually do feel pretty good as of yet. But, that's okay. It's cool, really.

Seriously, who are those people that say "enjoy your sleep while you can" to pregnant women. Are they complete morons? Why, yes, I do enjoy having a 6 lb baby laying on my bladder all night, particularly since I'm trying to up my water intake so I don't wake up screaming with calf cramps. It's awesome having to pee every 3.6 minutes, especially since it takes longer to roll over and get out of bed than it does to actually go pee. Not to mention when I do actually fall asleep, it's only to have the most ridiculous dreams ever thought of (why, yes, I am a mermaid in some dreams being attacked by other [vicious] mermaids).

Well, seeing as the alarm is going to go off in less than 4 hours, I'm going to go disturb the rest of my husband's sleep as well by crawling back into bed and flipping and flopping until it's time to get up and shower. Peace out, insomnia.

Reality

With 23 days to go (give-or-take) it starts becoming a little more real.

Which is good of course.

Except when you start thinking.

Oh yeah. There's going to be some super-painful contractions. Oh yeah. Back labor last time was excruciating. You decided you didn't want an epidural. Oh yeah. You're going to have to push that kiddo out. That really sucked last time. Oh yeah. And then you have the adjustment of breastfeeding. That pretty much sucked last time. And then you have recovery. Weeks of recovery. You couldn't even walk to the mailbox for like 2 weeks. That super-sucked.

Of course it's worth it. But I'm glad it's the last time I'll do those things.

Then it's just life as a family of 4.

Middle name

So I gave the rights to my husband because he compromised on Forrest.

Of course, he's so indecisive he can't even choose a restaurant.

Despite given him the rights, it means a lot to me that it's a family name from my side. Heidi's middle name is from his side and since Forrest is a boy, he'll have a last name from his side forever.

So finally today, Josh realized that the baby is going to be here soon. Like maybe within the next couple of weeks soon. And he doesn't have a middle name.

So I made a list of names on my side that I like with Forrest. Now he just needs to choose his favorite.

In other news, the carseat is installed, so I think we're good-to-go as far as general readiness. If Josh has to pick the middle name in the delivery room, so be it.

Non-stress tests

Could there be a worse name for them?

A non-stress test* is basically when you lay on the exam table with two monitors on you: one to check for contractions and one to measure baby's heartbeat. You have to lay there until you can get three accelerations and decelerations within 10 minutes.

So, tell me again, how this is non-stressful. You lay there and can see the heartbeat monitor and know it has to jump and then it has to go down. And your in-utero child picks that as the perfect time to take a looong snooze despite the fact that he punches and kicks you all day long. So you stare at the monitor. You prod the baby. You drink a juice box. You prod some more. You finally get an acceleration, then it won't go down. Then the monitor loses the baby for a while and you have to move it around.

25 minutes later you're stressed out and late getting back to work.

*Least favorite part of being diagnosed with gestational diabetes

Degrees of readiness.

I'm sure many folks IRL don't believe me when I say, I really don't want Forrest to come early. Well, a few days early would be A-Okay, but not early early. We have various degrees of readiness occurring in the house.

Totally ready:
--Forrest's room
--Clothes (washed, hung, folded)
--Diapers (washed, organized, one pack of sposies ordered to be here on Wednesday)
--Bassinet finally picked up, washed, ready
--Diaper bag (packed and ready to go to the hospital)

Semi-ready:
--My bag for the hospital
--The whole family, mentally. It's starting to sink in that he's coming soon and life will never be the same. For me anyway. I think it is for Josh as well. Heidi...well, she's 3.
--Plan for Heidi while we're in the hospital
--Be well-slept and well-rested before labor (is that possible?)

Still to be done:
--Hospital pre-birth conference. I really have no idea who/when to call when I'm in labor, etc.
--Car seat installation (may be driving niece around next weekend, so I can't install it yet)
--Waiting for a few last things to come (as I discovered we had roughly 2 burp rags and not a single receiving blanket--which I like to use as carseat blankets)
--Finish growing baby ;)
--Roughly 30 things on my To-Do list at work.