Sounds just as good as it looks

We had another prenatal (or is it antenatal) appointment today with my regular doctor. I had Heidi with me and when the doctor finally came in she asked Heidi if she'd come along to hear the heartbeat. I was thinking to myself "yeah, right." With Heidi Jean, we were never able to find the heartbeat. We didn't see or hear it until our 20 week ultrasound (the only one we had with her). I figured there was no way at 9 weeks along that we were going to hear the heartbeat. But what'd'ya know, she put the doppler on and there it was clear as day. 174 beats per minute. What a lovely sound.

Heidi didn't know what to think but did tell me that she wants to have a baby in her tummy. I told her not for a looooong loooong time.

Baby "Noodle"

Thanks to my friend, Meagon, baby has been dubbed baby "Noodle." You know I'm a fan of nicknames for baby and this one seems fitting since one of the few things that sounds good to eat these days (or at least tolerable) is chicken noodle soup. Especially the kind with the old fashioned "homemade" like noodles. I've been craving it every time I've been at Kwik Trip, but they haven't had it yet. Sad times.

Other things that are pleasing to my pregnancy palate: Chicken flavored Ramen (rollseyes), cereal (especially frosted mini wheats), macaroni salad, oatmeal, cookies, salads with ranch dressing, chocolate milk, frozen pot pies. School lunch is also sounding appetizing.

Loving it!

I'm loving being "out" about my pregnancy! It sucks having happy news and so few to share it with (okay, I told like 30 people before I was officially "out," but it's still more fun now that everybody (and their brothers) knows! I know that I'm pretty psyched to find out that friends are pregnant, and it's like a million times better when I know that there was lots of sweat and tears poured into getting there. Judging from the outpouring of love I've gotten, I think my friends feel the same. I almost want to just shout it to strangers "I'm pregnant! It took me 2 ridiculous years to get here, but I'm finally pregnant with a sticky baby!!"

We got home from a trip up North this weekend and snuggled our Heidi Jean all up. Then I pointed to my belly and asked her what was in there. She remembered :)

Bloodwork all came back normal, baby looked beautiful and heart was beating away at 167 beats per minute. Hopefully I can relax now.

Tomorrow is the big day!

Tomorrow I finally get to see my baby and see a little heart beating and share the happy news with everyone who doesn't already know. It's been almost 4 weeks since I got my first positive pregnancy test and I had no idea if I'd make it this far, if I'd have some gut feeling, if I'd have spotting, etc. Surprisingly, these last 4 weeks have gone pretty fast. I still feel pregnant (and terrible at times). It reassures me. I feel pretty positive about the appointment tomorrow. But there's still that little niggling voice in the back of my head that says "what if?" What if we go in and see nothing or see a baby that's so far behind in it's development that it's not viable? I just don't know if I can do it again. All I can do is pray pray pray that I don't have to. That all is well in the world.

Tomorrow at 1:45 cannot come soon enough.

My pregnancy accent?

My husband has claimed that since I've been pregnant (well, really in the last couple of weeks) I've started saying some words differently. Particularly "now" "down" etc. I have a bit more of a Minnesota/Canadian accent than normal, I guess. Never heard of this particular side effect, but Josh is certain that it's pregnancy related.

The non-hangover

So I was the designated driver for my cousin's bachelorette party last night. Obviously I didn't have anything to drink. Got home around 2:15. Woke up this morning around 9 and felt like death. Seriously, not even a drop of alcohol and I still feel hungover. Totally unfair.

2 Days until our ultrasound! I'm feeling somewhat assured that I still feel crappy...seems like my morning sickness eased up a little bit last time around this time. Just can't wait to see the baby.

Food

You don't realize how much it sucks to have no food sound good until it happens. Terrible to know that you have to eat but can't think of a single food that sounds appetizing. Gah.

Tried on my Bridesmaid's dress for Emily's wedding today, it fits with just a tiny bit of room to spare. Hope that little bump doesn't come one too quickly!

4 Days till we see our baby!

A few things

1. I feel like I've popped. Flat tummy is no more. A-Okay.

2. Afternoons suck. I wish I could lay in my bed all afternoon every day.

3. I'm tired of pretending not to be pregnant. Only 6 days until the ultrasound. Can't wait.

Gotta love hormones

I'm surprised marriages survive pregnancy. Mine in particular. Luckily my husband has the patience of a saint and enough willpower to not say all the stuff I'm sure he's thinking. I hate feeling out of control of what I say and do, but somehow the hormones just take over. It's how I knew I was pregnant the previous two times--we had huge blowup fights and I knew I was acting insane. It's waited a couple more weeks to show up this time around but it's here with a vengeance now. Please go away crazy person and let me resume my normal life.

On the good side, we're down to 10 days until the ultrasound. Tomorrow it'll be single digits!

Pregnancy Brain

I have found, time-and-time-again, that pregnancy brain is a real true honest-to-goodness actual thing.

Like this morning when I was so certain my phone was in the house and I search my purse thoroughly, the laundry, the washer & dryer, the garbage, the toy box, and every other place I could think of where it could possibly be. Only to find it on the front seat of the car.

Six weeks today!!! 12 Days until ultrasound day!

Facebook Anticipation

One thing I'm really looking forward to is mass-sharing the good news on Facebook. Gotta love social networking as a way to make sure I can get lots of kudos and congrats :) 

I already have my status update planned, that I will post the afternoon of August 23rd, provided all goes well and we see a little heart beating. It will say, "I think the only thing more beautiful than two pink lines is a little tiny heart beating inside of me."

Or something like that. I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it :)

13 days to go.

I love my husband

Right now, I'm sitting in my chair, watching baseball. My husband is out mowing the lawn with our daughter. He helped clean up dinner. He entertained Heidi. All without complaint. It makes me feel like it's okay to be exhausted. It's okay to have to lay down because my back hurts. He'll pick up the slack. What a perfect life.

2 weeks until we see our baby.

Sesame seed meet vertebrae

So, about, oh...40 weeks into my pregnancy with Heidi Jean (during delivery) I found out that I have scoliosis. I made it to 25 years old without discovering that little fact. Mom says it was never brought up at any of my well-child visits, so we had no way of knowing. My theory is that pregnancy made it more pronounced. Now when I don't have clothes on there is a pretty noticeable difference between my hips. Anyway, with Heidi's pregnancy I had a ton of back pain throughout. Sitting at my desk at work was like Chinese water torture or something. It hurt so badly.

And now, at 5 weeks 4 days, my back is ALREADY hurting. Seriously, what could a baby the size of a sesame seed be doing to make my back hurt? I get it that things loosen up (ligaments and muscles and such) during pregnancy, but this is ridiculous. I'm thinking I'm going to need to modify my work chair with a pillow or something for the 8 months of pregnancy that I'll be working (not counting this first one). I'd really like to go to the chiropractor throughout the pregnancy, but I don't know if I can fit it in schedule-wise without taking off of work all the time, so it probably won't happen. I'm just going to try not feeling guilty for laying around for the remaining days of my summer break. And I'm going to try to remember that I thought it would be neat to be due during the school year (as opposed to during the summer like I was last time), so that the kids could see me right up to the end and know when I was gone that I'd had the baby.

In good news, only 15 days now until we get to see our baby!

Putting the cart before the horse

Things I probably shouldn't be thinking about/worrying about at this point in the pregnancy:

--How will we go for walks with an almost 4 year old and a newborn? Double stroller? Sit-n-stand? Heidi can ride her bike?
--Pain meds during delivery or no pain meds? (I'm leaning towards no).
--If it's a boy, will we circumcise (I say no, Josh says yes)?
--Will breastfeeding be a better experience this time? Will I get to have my skin-to-skin time right away and try to nurse right away?
--How will I split my time between Heidi and baby? How will Josh and I split our time with the kids?
--What will we name him/her?

I have 34 and a half weeks to figure out all the answers I guess.

16 Days until the ultrasound.

Note to self

Things not to do when newly pregnant:
--skydive
--bullriding
--jalapeno pepper eating competition
--ride rollercoasters
--beer pong
--agree to watch a two month old who still wakes up for hours at night for a weekend.

Noted.

The ebbs and flows

It is amazing just how many ebbs and flows I go through in a day. Moments of feeling wonderfully pregnant--counteracted by moments of feeling devastatingly normal. Moments of life as usual polarized by thoughts of what-if and worries and anxieties. Several times every day I spend just being excited about our baby. Just looking forward to April and meeting our new baby and what he/she will be like and how Heidi will react. Several times every day I picture going in to the ultrasound and seeing what we've seen the last two times. Nothing. I picture myself sobbing and wondering how I will continue to go on. Knowing that losing this baby would be a million times worse than the months and months of waiting for the positive pregnancy test. I pray daily for nausea and heartburn and exhaustion and moodiness. Thinking that they will reassure me, when I know better. I had them all last time and no indication that anything was wrong until I got to the ultrasound.

These 18 days cannot pass soon enough.

Five Weeks

Thirty five weeks to go. I have a feeling that Thursdays are going to become my favorite day because I wake up another week pregnant :) Five weeks sounds farther along than four weeks, right? So far so good. I feel physically fine but still enough different that I'm not in constant panic. No spotting at all, which is good (but not 100% reassuring because I didn't have any last time either). I got my Your Pregnancy Week by Week book back yesterday so I read up on all the preliminary stuff and weeks 4 and 5. Nothing too much there that I didn't remember from last time.

Other than that. Took an excellent nap today. Really really crabby tonight (especially at my child that's outside the womb).

19 Days until we see our baby :)

It's amazing what you forget

Granted, it's been almost 3 years since I've been at this stage of a pregnancy. Those first few weeks of figuring everything out and feeling all the little twinges and stretches. I feel like I've forgotten all the things I'm not supposed to eat and the things I can and cannot do. I got this book from the doctor yesterday, more like a large pamphlet, really, called Great Expectations. I read the whole thing today, just to remind myself of how quickly the baby will grow and develop, which exercises are the best to do, what foods to eat, etc.

I feel like I'm doing it all again for the first time. Probably because I'm a little more cognizant of every little thing this time around.

Grow baby grow! 20 days until I get to see you :)

First Appointment

I had my first appointment this morning (after finagling a few ears that wanted me to wait until the end of August--wasn't going to happen). I really like my doctor, she always takes a lot of time to make sure she explains everything and answers any questions that I have. It was pretty uneventful overall--peed in the cup, got some blood drawn and a prescription for prenatals.

At the front desk they had me make my next 2 appointments (end of August, end of September). I feel like that's tempting fate a little bit, but I just have to have faith and believe that everything is going to be okay.

I went to the drugstore afterwards to get my prenatals and I was browsing around while we waited for them. I saw this little paperweight that was just a glass orb with the word "Hope" inside. I just had to have it.

21 Days till we get to see our baby!

Insomnia sucks

Seriously, at 4 weeks and some-odd-days pregnant, why is my sleep already messed up? HJ woke us up last night around 2:30 and wouldn't you know it, I'm like wide awake. And hungry. And really thirsty. Finally I gave in and got up and filled my water bottle and got a pack of Emerald Breakfast to Go and played on the computer for a little while. I probably lost a good 2 hours of sleep, but did manage to finally fall back asleep. Exhausted right now but I know it won't last once I get into bed. My mind just races then, thinking about the baby and how we'll tell people after we see the heartbeat and what we need to buy and wondering how the pregnancy will go and what kind of delivery I should have and what we will name him or her and how Heidi will react. There's just a lot to think about.

My first appointment with my regular doctor is tomorrow. She's the one that I'd like to have deliver me and I really really like her bedside manner. I'm sure the appointment will be non-eventful.

22 days until the big ultrasound.