Nerves

I thought after the first ultrasound, seeing that wonderful heartbeat, that I would feel reassured. That I would be relaxed and able to enjoy every minute. But I'm still nervous. I feel really really good this pregnancy. I think that's part of it. Tomorrow I have another appointment and I can't stop myself from worrying that we won't be able to find a heartbeat and I'll have to beg for an ultrasound and what if something is wrong? I know that's not likely now that I've both seen and heard the heart beat. But it's been a month since last time and I can't help but worry. I enjoy my monthly reassurance.

12 Weeks

I know I still have a long way to go, but 12 weeks sounds farther along to me than 11 weeks :)

We've known about Baby Noodle for 8 weeks that means. 2 months of joy and elation. 28 more weeks until we're holding our precious baby in our arms.

I was also pleased that in my "your pregnancy this week" email it said that you might be in maternity clothes by now, particularly if this isn't your first. And I'm not yet. Well, to be fair, I had some regular clothes that have been too big since my recent weight loss and I've been wearing those. But even without them I'm sure I could still make do with my regular clothes and a Bella Band. I am excited though to break out the bag of maternity clothes, especially the few new things I'll have this time around.

And in just 8 weeks we should be able to find out if we're having a boy or girl. So excited for that. Next week I have another appointment and I'm excited to hear the heartbeat again :)

The Sex

So, we somewhat debated this time about finding out the sex. We found out with Heidi and I loved knowing. I just felt more bonded to her knowing that she was a "her" and a "she" and that once we settled on the name that was her name.

This time the big factor for me was Heidi again. She's very much in "little sister" mode, so I think it would be nice to know what's coming and be able to have 20 weeks to amp her up on how cool little brothers are if baby Noodle happens to be a boy.

We should be able to find out in mid-Novemberish...so I'm thinking of doing a Thanksgiving dessert gender reveal. Still debating on that one. Might be able to bring Aunt Laura in on the secret and do some turkey cake pops or something :)

Patience isn't my forte

Things I'm anxious for:

• Feeling the baby move (we felt Heidi move at 16 weeks, so I'm hoping we feel Noodle that early as well). Having Heidi feel the baby move.
• Finding out the sex
• Which leads to talking names and naming the baby
• Being big enough to wear maternity clothes (and not look like a fool)

The bump

Today was the test. To see if the bump would fit in the bridesmaids dress. She did. Just barely.

If I grow any more in the next 8 days I may bust my zipper. I hope that doesn't happen.

After trying on the dress I went and got Taco Bell. I don't think that's helpful.

Am I a yogi now?

I did some pregnancy yoga this afternoon [almost begged off and pretended that cleaning the kitchen would be my exercise, but since I'm trying to get back in a rhythm and dinner was only going to need like 15 minutes, I really had no excuse]. The yoga workout is the back-end of this pregnancy dance workout that I did a lot when I was pregnant with Heidi. I never really realized that it had a full yoga workout (well, like 20 minutes) on it as well. I think I usually just shut it off because she starts with a whole bunch of deep breathing and I got bored.

Anyway, it was actually a very simple but very good yoga workout. It got me energized enough to do dinner and clean the kitchen before falling into an exhausted pile on the couch (where I shall remain for the rest of the evening other than to go get a snack in a bit).

Found: Energy!

I'm finally getting a little of my spark back this week. I've really been feeling okay, just a bit sluggish and bloaty and blah. This week I'm not sure if I'm generally feeling more energetic, if I'm just adjusting to the other feelings, adjusting to being back to work, or just made up my mind to be more energetic, but either way. It's here.

Last night after dinner Nut Jo and I walked to the park (quickly!).

Tonight I got home from work and popped in one of my good ol' pregnancy workout DVD's and did some salsa dancing. I feel better just having moved a little.

I have to keep reminding myself that exercise makes me feel better. Always has.

At 10 weeks, 5 days...

...I was asked at work today, by someone who didn't know, if I was expecting. I'm pretty certain it's not all that normal to be noticeably showing at 10 weeks 5 days. But I am.

Then I was asked this evening at the park by some little girl if we were "having a baby." Yes. Yes we are.

Oy. I don't want to know the kind of comments I'll be getting come March and April.

The best and the worst

The best parts about being pregnant: getting a belly, the knowledge that I'm growing life, Heidi's excitement over her "little sister," the love of friends and family.

Worst parts about being pregnant: everything else.

I so wanted to love it this time, or at least like it.

But I don't. I don't like feeling like a stranger in my own body. Feeling sluggish. Nauseous. Moody. Exhausted. Bloated. Overwhelmed. I don't like it at all.

But I love you, my baby.

In case you don't believe me.

Some folks make surprised faces or give me looks of disbelief when I say that I am noticeably HUGER in the evening than I am in the morning. Like a lot.

Yesterday I was 10 weeks so I took a belly picture in the morning just to document the week.

Then, just for fun, I took one when I got home last night.

I was tightening my muscles in both pictures. Can you see why my pants are tight at the end of the day?

Q&A with Heidi

Heidi is in "baby-mode" you could say, these days. We spent the entire car ride to daycare this morning discussing the baby and answering her questions. And then a few more tonight. Went something like this:

Heidi: Is the baby feeling good?
Me: Yeah, the baby's feeling pretty good. (She asks since we went to the doctor yesterday)

Heidi: Why are you having a baby?
Me: I guess we wanted one, for you to have a baby brother or sister.

Heidi: What is the baby called? (What will be its name?)
Me: I don't know yet, first we have to find out if it's a baby brother or sister.

Heidi: How will you get the baby out?
Me: {nervously} Well, it'll be kinda hard, the doctors will help me {thankfully she accepted that}.

On the way home tonight we were talking about a baby at daycare that she really likes then she said...
Heidi: I love our baby because I love babies!
Me: I'm glad

Josh was teasing her that she wanted a baby brother
Heidi: No, a baby sister!
Josh: What if it's a baby brother?
Me: That would be kind of cool, huh?
Heidi: [Muttering something about it having hair] It's a baby sister!

Then she asked if the baby was coming. Not for a while yet kiddo. Not for a while.